Beware of Wolf in Sheep Clothing

Just because something looks good, doesn't mean it is good. 

This isn't a lesson I wish any of you will learn first hand. So, I'll share my story in hopes God will use it for good.

  

(This is a long post, so bare with me. I feel called to put it out there, and then leave it there - moving on with wisdom from the lesson learned, praise God.)

I came to this harsh realization through a relationship I was in, where my heart went through more pain than I would ever have dreaded to know possible. My spirit was crushed into pieces like a peanut shell. Because I chose to be oblivious to what I didn't want to see.

The reason I was hurt so badly is because this person professed to be one thing, ... everything righteous and of Christ ..., and I believed it whole heartedly. Despite the many warnings that should have led me not to. Only to find out, it was a lie and I was deceived. 

Why did I believe? Because I was waiting for my christian husband & he said he was the one I was waiting for. It sounded good, & I wanted to believe it - so I did. Because I didn't believe someone could say they are one thing all the while being the opposite. Therefore, I fell in love with an illusion. A picture painted with lies, this person I fell in love with doesn't exist. He's make believe. & the person I was in a relationship with was just the artist. 

Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits - Matthew 7:15

My heart and I were stuck in a prison where, I could feel things weren't right ... I saw the red flags ... yet wanted to believe in this person (the wolf), and believe me, he was convincing. If I would try to explain that things did not seem true, there was a carefully painted lie to cover up the lie. I got so wrapped up in trying to figure out the situation, it consumed me. To this day, I have nightmares about it ... where I am a detective and having to go through this gut wrenching feeling of figuring out the truth vs the lies. Suffocating in a web of manipulation and confusion, trying to break free. Looking for the EXIT sign that would lead me to the truth. 

This scripture from the bible kept coming to me when things did not add up: For our God is not a God of confusion but of peace - 1 Corinthians 14:33

The wolf looked good, talked great, but walked crooked. His words were the sweetest smelling cologne I've ever encountered and drew me in like a bee to a flower. It was only after I  tasted the pollen that I realized it was poison.

Now I urge you, brethren, keep your eye on those who cause dissensions and hindrances contrary to the teaching which you learned, and turn away from them. For such men are slaves, not of our Lord Christ but of their own appetites; and by their smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting - Romans 16:17-18

Let me break it down even further. The wolf told me (& everyone for that matter) that he is christian. Goes to church every Sunday, listens to Billy Graham sermons, posts scripture on facebook, repeatedly told me he does not lie & would tell me "I despise a liar." I was so distracted by all that he was saying that I was missing what he was actually DOING. He spoke of his salvation all of the time, prayed before dinner, and wore cross necklaces proudly. He went through the motions and said the 'right' things.

Be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves - James 1:22 

According to him, I was "the one."  

He constantly TOLD ME he loved me unconditionally and there was no one else for him. For about a year I spent every moment I could with he and his daughter, we were like a family. I gave everything I could and more, trying to walk on water for him, though it was never enough. Then I realized, he never SHOWED me this love he spoke of. I was drowning in words of love, so that I couldn't even come up for air to see the actions weren't there. I did all the work, all the sacrificing, all the compromise, everything. 

After a couple months, he began condemning me for my past. Questioning my salvation. Pointing out things I had done years before we met. Constantly, at any given moment, I would have to go through this. He would not drop it. Even told me that he would have proposed by now if it weren't for me & what I had done/been through in my past. 

Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool - Isaiah 1:18

Let me tell you something. The enemy wants to hold Gods children hostage in past sin. This is condemnation and serves no good. Jesus died for our sins and we are forgiven! He tells us so. We are to believe in His promises full heartedly and not be distracted or feel unworthy from our past. Focus on what God has in store for you NOW. That's what He wants us to focus on. He uses the weak to help the strong, & the broken to inspire. 

I was always questioned. I noticed he tried to isolate me by telling me which of my friends were un-safe for me to be around. Told me I shouldn't share our issues with people. I was being manipulated so well that I knew it was crazy to go along with what he said, but did it anyway. He used everything to manipulate me. His daughter, Jesus, marriage, whatever it took. 

He would even used the words "God knows our hearts" to manipulate me. Sadly, it worked.

So the story unfolds ....

Come to find out, he was not waiting for his wife. Everything I thought we built our relationship on was a lie. Everything unraveled before me. He had been with a woman just before we met, and while we were dating. Kept a long distance relationship with yet another christian young lady who did not know he was in a relationship. Gave me roses he received from another woman while presenting them from himself. The story goes on. To sum it up: all the while condemning me for things of my past, doing whatever he wanted in the present while promising his faithfulness to me.

At first, it was hard to breathe. I felt physical pain in my heart. I found myself thinking, how can someone do this?!? Who would do such a thing! It was more difficult for me to believe someone would be capable of using another's heart as a chew toy in their game of "love", than to believe he was being honest. Even more difficult for me to believe that he would use the name of God in vein. Then I realized, God speaks of this in the bible, NUMEROUS times. It's just one of those things I heard in church and dismissed, didn't think I would have to worry about. But guess what, it's important to take God seriously. 

But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete - Luke 6:49

It is out there!!! Don't get side tracked from Gods will for your life by a wolf in sheep clothing. While God may be your Shepherd, the wolf is his own shepherd. Out for himself. Presents himself as one like you but will devour you. 

Solution? Draw close to the Lord, and stay there. Pray to Him before anything and everything you do. That part I did. The harder part: Even if you don't like the answer, LISTEN. If you feel confused, something isn't right! If you have a feeling of uneasiness sweep over you, the holy spirit is speaking to you! If you feel like you can't hear his answer (& even if you do) stay in His word by reading the bible and surrounding yourself with other Christians who will help you along your journey. Not even Jesus walked alone, He had His disciples. Even if you think you know best, the fact of the matter is, He ALWAYS does.

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil - Ephesians 6:11

I believe that I met the wolf for a reason. I know that God did not intend it to go as far as it did, and tried to show me that many times. The AMAZING thing? He kept showing me until I got it. He didn't give up on me. Although throughout this I broke a promise to Him. I broke His heart. Which pains me more than any of it, but I know I'm forgiven. He did not abandon me. HE IS SO FAITHFUL!!! Instead, He showed me what I told Him I needed to see in order to believe. I would reason with myself and God saying, yes I know he is all of those things but he is Christian and faithful. Then God said ... Oh really? My child, let me open your eyes. I prayed for revelation, & I received it. How AMAZING IS OUR GOD!!!

The difficult part is, you have to want to see. Do you want to see? Do you want to live freely in the truth? Just ask to be shown. Pray to your heavenly father, He will hear you. 

Jesus opens the eyes of the blind :)

I know that God will use this all for good. It is very painful to talk about, but maybe ... just maybe, someone out there will read & receive revelation through this trial. 

By the way, message me or leave a comment below if you have questions or thoughts on this or any of my posts.

  

Thankful for this new beginning,

Meagan