Freedom From the Need to Please.

Have you noticed, that most of what humans do here on earth is try to please other people. Most of whom wouldn't come to our funeral. Most of whom, we will never even know.

Why do we do that? 

Facebook, twitter, instagram, snapchat ... posting things to show off lives, in hopes of making people envious. It should be called Bragbook! Or, posts complaining about life ... to get attention? 

Some of the time posting how great things are, when quite frankly if you really know the truth - they are miserable. It is the cry of the broken hearted ... love me, like me, pay attention to me. 

I'm not saying social media is a bad thing. I have many friends on facebook and follow folks on twitter that reading their posts really lifts me up and encourages me and many other people. & it doesn't just happen on social media, that's just where we are exposed in abundance. It happens everywhere, all the time.

Here is the question: where is your heart motivation?

I personally think our need to please stems from our desire to be loved. & the threat that some people put out there: if you don't do what I want, I will reject you. This can be the toughest if it is from our "loved ones".

Most of the people we are trying to please aren't going to love us. Either because they don't even know us- or because they aren't safe people capable of love the way God defines it. & so we are putting so much of our life into something that will keep coming back void.

The people that we DO please (albeit not all of the time), aren't difficult to please. God isn't difficult to please. He has high expectations of us to follow His commandments for our OWN protection, but think of how much grace and unconditional love He provides. & He loves to delight in us. The people who love us - who delight in us, and who wouldn't take their love away if we don't do exactly what they say always, those are safe people. It's not performance based. It's not a means to control. 

Pleasing people and seeking love can be addictive! I have been trying to please specific people my entire life. & I didn't even realize it until recently. I think some of us are just trained up that way - and don't know any different. 

I read this verse, and it shook me. I thought - Lord, I KNOW you are going to teach me something through this. As a matter of fact, I told my friends in bible study - this verse stuck out to me God is trying to tell me something, I just don't know what yet. Yano that feeling when you know God is moving, and you're just waiting for it.

Everyone who has left houses, siblings, parents, spouses for my names sake, shall receive a hundredfold and eternal life Matt 19:29

Really Lord?? You want us to leave all of our most prized possessions, loved ones, and ANYTHING we cling to - for YOU? .... Yes. 

That was a hard concept for me to swallow. The Lord started taking me down this road about a year and a half ago: Let go of everything that distracts you from me. Trust ME. Let go of everything else you cling to, and just hold on to me. I've got you. You are safe with me.

I would be lying if I said it isn't scary. It shouldn't be! Trust the God of all creation should be an easy concept, one would think.

& God completes His works, so - he wasn't and probably isn't done showing me what I need to let go of.

Since God wants us to put Him first, if we are putting anything or anyone else first, clinging to them or that instead of Him - at some point He will likely ask us to re evaluate that line up. That point just happened to be NOW, for me. Again.

This is 'easier' done when it comes to strangers, or friends even. But what about family, or spouses?

God says even then should we put Him first. 

Just look at Moses. God asked him to lay down his staff and follow Him. Being a shepherd, Moses staff since he was his livelihood. Well, Moses did lay it down, and look how God used him! Moses led the people of Israel out of Egypt and was featured in the best selling book of all time!

Ruth although recently widowed was obedient to Christ and followed her mother in law to a land she knew no one, potentially forfeiting her hope to get married again - only for God to provide her with an amazing man of God who loved her because her obedience to the Lord.

Now God is very clear that we are to honor our parents, spouses, (everyone for that matter). *If you are living at home you should obey your parents rules unless they are harmful or disobedient to the Lord.

He is also clear that we are to honor Him most of all. And what He does not say is, please your parents to gain their love. In fact, God gave us His love first and it is unconditional. We aren't to aim to please ANYONE for LOVE. 

& if someone threatens to, or takes away their love because we do not do as they think we should - well we have safe haven in the ONE who will love us unconditionally - and trust me, He is more than enough. 

In fact, all of the love and acceptance we are really looking for - is because he created us to love Him, and be loved by Him. His love is the only way we will truly be joyful and content. Think about it, if you are reading this post and have not accepted Christ as your savior, are you content or are you searching for something? Even those of us who have, we struggle also - as soon as we aren't putting quality time into our relationship with Christ.

Should we want to serve and honor our loved ones? Of course. BUT, there is a difference in that and putting our entire lives on hold to please people rather than putting our focus on pleasing God. We should never sacrifice our entire beings for love and acceptance. To love does not mean to please - there is a difference. And if someone loves you, they won't expect you to do exactly as they say all of the time - love is freeing, not draining. Just like Gods love ... FREEING!! 

So again, the good Lord freed me from another bondage, the disease to please. I hope that if any of you reads this and feels a ping of - oh, I can relate ... - that you would allow the Lord to free you as well. It's a daily decisions sometimes, because us humans - we're forgetful. :-)

& why wouldn't God want this? God wants to be loved and cherished, just as we do. We are made in His image! He won't make us, but we're missing the whole point of life if we chose not to. & everything we are seeking in it. 

Sometimes seeing things we've been blind to for umpteen years is incredibly difficult, because sometimes it's easier to be comfortable in our sin. I mean there have been many times I have thought, maybe it would be easier if I just went back to before I knew ... keep living that way. Those times when the truth is so ugly that it made my stomach hurt, question everything about my entire life, and made me feel alone. Well, the truth of it is - that's not really comfortable and once we get past the initial shock and pain, the freeing release is what will really provide lasting comfort.

Once we break free from people pleasing - we are available to do Gods will. We seek Him and hear Him, and aren't so worried about pleasing others that we are distracted from obeying Him. It leads to a lot more blessings and opens us up for our divine purpose here on earth, to bring heaven wherever we go because we are so focused on Christ people see it shining through our lives.

Let's all put down that burden of needing to please everyone, always. The one we should be aiming to please is God, all else will fall into place if that is our focus.

I am thankful for each step of progress and looking forward to what the Lord has in store next! & thanking Christ for answering unspoken prayers.

In love,

Meagan