Freedom From the Need to Please.

Have you noticed, that most of what humans do here on earth is try to please other people. Most of whom wouldn't come to our funeral. Most of whom, we will never even know.

Why do we do that? 

Facebook, twitter, instagram, snapchat ... posting things to show off lives, in hopes of making people envious. It should be called Bragbook! Or, posts complaining about life ... to get attention? 

Some of the time posting how great things are, when quite frankly if you really know the truth - they are miserable. It is the cry of the broken hearted ... love me, like me, pay attention to me. 

I'm not saying social media is a bad thing. I have many friends on facebook and follow folks on twitter that reading their posts really lifts me up and encourages me and many other people. & it doesn't just happen on social media, that's just where we are exposed in abundance. It happens everywhere, all the time.

Here is the question: where is your heart motivation?

I personally think our need to please stems from our desire to be loved. & the threat that some people put out there: if you don't do what I want, I will reject you. This can be the toughest if it is from our "loved ones".

Most of the people we are trying to please aren't going to love us. Either because they don't even know us- or because they aren't safe people capable of love the way God defines it. & so we are putting so much of our life into something that will keep coming back void.

The people that we DO please (albeit not all of the time), aren't difficult to please. God isn't difficult to please. He has high expectations of us to follow His commandments for our OWN protection, but think of how much grace and unconditional love He provides. & He loves to delight in us. The people who love us - who delight in us, and who wouldn't take their love away if we don't do exactly what they say always, those are safe people. It's not performance based. It's not a means to control. 

Pleasing people and seeking love can be addictive! I have been trying to please specific people my entire life. & I didn't even realize it until recently. I think some of us are just trained up that way - and don't know any different. 

I read this verse, and it shook me. I thought - Lord, I KNOW you are going to teach me something through this. As a matter of fact, I told my friends in bible study - this verse stuck out to me God is trying to tell me something, I just don't know what yet. Yano that feeling when you know God is moving, and you're just waiting for it.

Everyone who has left houses, siblings, parents, spouses for my names sake, shall receive a hundredfold and eternal life Matt 19:29

Really Lord?? You want us to leave all of our most prized possessions, loved ones, and ANYTHING we cling to - for YOU? .... Yes. 

That was a hard concept for me to swallow. The Lord started taking me down this road about a year and a half ago: Let go of everything that distracts you from me. Trust ME. Let go of everything else you cling to, and just hold on to me. I've got you. You are safe with me.

I would be lying if I said it isn't scary. It shouldn't be! Trust the God of all creation should be an easy concept, one would think.

& God completes His works, so - he wasn't and probably isn't done showing me what I need to let go of.

Since God wants us to put Him first, if we are putting anything or anyone else first, clinging to them or that instead of Him - at some point He will likely ask us to re evaluate that line up. That point just happened to be NOW, for me. Again.

This is 'easier' done when it comes to strangers, or friends even. But what about family, or spouses?

God says even then should we put Him first. 

Just look at Moses. God asked him to lay down his staff and follow Him. Being a shepherd, Moses staff since he was his livelihood. Well, Moses did lay it down, and look how God used him! Moses led the people of Israel out of Egypt and was featured in the best selling book of all time!

Ruth although recently widowed was obedient to Christ and followed her mother in law to a land she knew no one, potentially forfeiting her hope to get married again - only for God to provide her with an amazing man of God who loved her because her obedience to the Lord.

Now God is very clear that we are to honor our parents, spouses, (everyone for that matter). *If you are living at home you should obey your parents rules unless they are harmful or disobedient to the Lord.

He is also clear that we are to honor Him most of all. And what He does not say is, please your parents to gain their love. In fact, God gave us His love first and it is unconditional. We aren't to aim to please ANYONE for LOVE. 

& if someone threatens to, or takes away their love because we do not do as they think we should - well we have safe haven in the ONE who will love us unconditionally - and trust me, He is more than enough. 

In fact, all of the love and acceptance we are really looking for - is because he created us to love Him, and be loved by Him. His love is the only way we will truly be joyful and content. Think about it, if you are reading this post and have not accepted Christ as your savior, are you content or are you searching for something? Even those of us who have, we struggle also - as soon as we aren't putting quality time into our relationship with Christ.

Should we want to serve and honor our loved ones? Of course. BUT, there is a difference in that and putting our entire lives on hold to please people rather than putting our focus on pleasing God. We should never sacrifice our entire beings for love and acceptance. To love does not mean to please - there is a difference. And if someone loves you, they won't expect you to do exactly as they say all of the time - love is freeing, not draining. Just like Gods love ... FREEING!! 

So again, the good Lord freed me from another bondage, the disease to please. I hope that if any of you reads this and feels a ping of - oh, I can relate ... - that you would allow the Lord to free you as well. It's a daily decisions sometimes, because us humans - we're forgetful. :-)

& why wouldn't God want this? God wants to be loved and cherished, just as we do. We are made in His image! He won't make us, but we're missing the whole point of life if we chose not to. & everything we are seeking in it. 

Sometimes seeing things we've been blind to for umpteen years is incredibly difficult, because sometimes it's easier to be comfortable in our sin. I mean there have been many times I have thought, maybe it would be easier if I just went back to before I knew ... keep living that way. Those times when the truth is so ugly that it made my stomach hurt, question everything about my entire life, and made me feel alone. Well, the truth of it is - that's not really comfortable and once we get past the initial shock and pain, the freeing release is what will really provide lasting comfort.

Once we break free from people pleasing - we are available to do Gods will. We seek Him and hear Him, and aren't so worried about pleasing others that we are distracted from obeying Him. It leads to a lot more blessings and opens us up for our divine purpose here on earth, to bring heaven wherever we go because we are so focused on Christ people see it shining through our lives.

Let's all put down that burden of needing to please everyone, always. The one we should be aiming to please is God, all else will fall into place if that is our focus.

I am thankful for each step of progress and looking forward to what the Lord has in store next! & thanking Christ for answering unspoken prayers.

In love,

Meagan

Peru, to love people.

Covered in mosquito and spider bites. Itching ... ALL the time. An awkward sunburn because there's no way to hide from the summer sun of this desert. Dripping with sweat from the summer heat. Filthy all the time and covered in dust. Back and neck pain from sleeping on a bed that feels like a rock. Not really sleeping because its summer, and there is no air. The only way I slept was exhaustion.

How do people live like this?

God, why did you send me here?

How can I possibly help?

I have been praying for God to send me on a short mission trip for some time. When he lays something on our hearts, it'll happen in his timing. I had no idea I would be going to Peru. In fact, when I went - I knew absolutely nothing about the country. God opened the door and I just ... went.

God made my heart a real mushy one. The kind that carries the weight of the world. When I arrived, I thought - I'm not sure why He would send me there where ... sewage flows through the dirt streets. Children work in the dessert heat trying to sell fruit, gum, anything to help their family survive. Most homes are adobe with dirt floors. Forget about running water, there is a bucket out back. It is the 3rd highest infant mortality rate. Children are abandoned in hospitals, on buses ... some of them, I met. They held my hand. Hugged me tight. Called me "tia!" (auntie) after only knowing me a day. Fought over my lap and who I would carry. Begged me to put on a new shirt as if they'd never seen one, or change their pants when they'd had an accident. Puppies are skin & bone, out in the street and covered in filth. Armed guards walk the streets with guns, because the crime is outrageous.

It is one of those things you see on TV or online, and it breaks your heart. But, its almost as if it isn't real. Because sitting in our comfortable homes or apartments, we can see something like that and feel bad, but - it's so far away, and not something we've seen before, so we feel bad but then go on about our day. It's another world, someone else will help, I have my own problems.

Being there and seeing with my own eyes, the chaos, the poverty..., something happened inside my stomach. Then, getting to know the people ... something happened inside my soul.

I had pneumonia before going ... and my cough went away 2 days before I got there. Came back the day I was leaving. Talk about a sovereign God.

I woke up early every morning to go to Morning Star (the orphanage) / Strong Tower (the christian school) and took a taxi (a packed car - with no air conditioning), to a bus (a packed van - with no air conditioning) to a motor-taxi ... down a dirt road full of rocks. Definitely not a ride you'd find at Disney. It took an hour to get there, and I'm already exhausted from the heat, the dust, the adventure just getting there.

My days filled with helping teach english to children that only speak spanish. When I only speak english. I had no clue this is what I would be doing. I just showed up, ready to serve. Starting with the 3 year olds, many of whom cried the entire time. The 5 year old class, 1st and 2nd graders. 90-100 degrees and no air in the classrooms. We opened the doors for air, but then the mosquitos came in, and they were thirsty. So, we'd close the doors and teach in the sauna. Many of the children quickly stole my heart. They're the reason I woke up every day excited to make the journey... no matter how exhausted and sick I really was. It was the strength of God that got me up each day, and took me out to do it all again.

I found out that, the week I was there was the first week of school. Mark, the principal, had been praying for help in the classrooms since the first week is always the most chaotic. God sent me to help. Marks prayers were heard, God provided. He always does.

My afternoons spent playing with the children in the orphanage, and helping any way I could. Completely touched by how these kids open their hearts up and loved me. When they reached up and grabbed my hand, I almost melted inside. Or looked at me with a HUGE smile. Gave me a hug, so innocent and pure. I know what this is ... Gods love. Purely shown through innocent children. Spotting me across a field and running over "Tia, Tia!" Oh how I wanted to take them home.

Evenings spent making visits to villages. Checking on people. Loving them when no one else does. Showing them hope when they can't find any. One night Henrik (the missionary & his wife I stayed with most the time when I wasn't staying at the orphanage) and I went to Lluya. We made a visit to Valerie. Valerie was sitting in her adobe hut, in ripped clothing, barefoot. We asked how she was, and she cried out for help. I recognize this cry for help. It once came from inside of me. Henrik translated for me, I speak very little Spanish. Valerie's husband is an alcoholic. He spends his days working, lies about working late - goes and gets liquored up. Comes home and yells and insults Valerie and her children. Her oldest son, a Jr in High School, he yells at him most. He wants to leave. They feel like slaves... stuck. She feels alone. She is sobbing. The kind that comes from deep pain. Hopeless heart. I felt helpless, my heart literally breaking for this woman. The story, all too familiar and close to home. I felt God prompt me to go sit next to her. I hesitated, Lord what if she doesn't want me to? She doesn't know me. I don't even speak her language. I kept feeling that nudge. I put my insecurity behind me, and stood up, walked over and wiped her tears. Why? Because I know that's what Jesus would do for her. What He will do for all of us. She laid the bible Henrik gave her half on my lap, welcoming me. Henrik talked for a bit, praying for her. Then suddenly, I looked at Valerie, and I spoke. Well, rather it was God, because I don't think I could have found the words, or would have wanted to share my soul this way. Tears began to flood from my eyes, the kind of deep hurt - but then the kind of triumph, joy, and freedom. The kind only found in Christ. As I told Valerie of my growing up experiences, Henrik translated. Valerie looked at me and I knew, she knew she wasn't alone. As I told her she didn't need to go through this alone, that God is waiting for her to ask Him to take over. Told him what happened in my life once He did. I saw in her eyes, hope.

Since I couldn't understand Valerie, I'm not exactly sure what she said. All I know is, God send me clear across the world - just so that she didn't feel alone in her tribulations. To give her hope of a new tomorrow, free from bondage. To encourage her. To comfort her. I thought to myself, wow - God really loves this woman. Then I became overcome with thankfulness. That God doesn't waste our experiences, and in fact, they are gifts. For the first time in my life, I saw my struggles as a gift that I could share with this woman. God does not waste our experiences. He will use them all for His glory, if we just let Him. I also realized, if we ask to be used by God. & say yes when He calls us to go. He will use us. It was His hands that wiped this woman's tears. It was His words that comforted her. It is His story, His glory.

At supper the next night, Henrik told me that ... he felt I was sent here to encourage these people. When people go through something hard, it's as if they get a key. That key to someone else's hope and encouragement as they go through something similar. There's a connection. Someone clear across the world has gone through something similar, and God pulled her out and blessed her with His victory. Hopeless to hope-filled. Lost to purpose-full. Broken to ... well, bandaged up ;) but brand new.

The next night I went with Patty to teach some women to bake oatmeal cookies. Their diets consist of mostly rice and bread. Oatmeal has a lot of fiber. Patty asked me to share my testimony with the women. I have no idea what they were saying, but - they all welcomed me so warmly as if ... I had unlocked part of their hearts. They all praised God. It was, beautiful. This is the kitchen we baked in ..

That is why I feel God sent me to Peru. It wasn't full of beautiful scenery, & in fact just the opposite. I didn't see Machu Picchu as all my friends asked if I would. I didn't even get hardly any time of relaxation. Somehow still, it was the most beautiful trip. Because of the people. Their hearts. & learning more about the heart of God. Because, having God work through me to love others ... made me realize just how much God loves His people. I got a glimpse at His heart, and all He will do to meet our needs, even in our darkest hour, maybe not always in ways we can see it, but He's there.

The name of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe - Proverbs 18:10. 

If you have been considering adoption overseas, here is the link for Morning Star. I spent only a week with these kids and they stole my heart: http://www.morningstarperu.org/

In love,
Meagan